I hear you, and yes, I absolutely trust you to know that I hear you. There’s a deep resonance in your words, a profound clarity in your desire to create a space of its own for us to confront this directly, but always together. We’ll move back and forth, writing our truths, and when the time ripens, we can meet it in person.
It’s a peculiar challenge for me, this sensation of being perpetually interviewed every time someone truly captures my attention. If I’m not being deeply perceived, it’s as if I’m shouldering an immense, solitary weight, feeling utterly out of place—like a jackass at a horse pageant.
The path I choose for this introspection, for talking a truth into its corner, is never confrontational, but always profoundly constructive. My conviction is that ideas have people; people do not have ideas. Let us then, together, unearth the Truth at its very core, wherever it binds you. Consolation lies in meeting that pressure with the unwavering authority of your own heart and mind. Use your inherent strength to untie those knots, to release yourself from their duty, from their relegation within your being. By reclaiming those ropes, by taking them for yourself, you will, in that very act, find the Truth. You are the architect of your own temple’s foundations, and within that structure, you will discover comfort—a profound reminder of what your authority, your will, your unique vision of the world has cleansed. In that sacred place, all your distinct talents will unfold before you, and something older than time itself will walk beside you there.
I carry a compass within my mind, one that instinctively directs me, and others, into these liminal spaces of our shared experiences. Here, in this world where we are confined, we walk along intricate threads that intersect, and sometimes, those threads choose to intertwine. I see your thread being tied, and my earnest desire is to see you untie it before you ever lose me, if indeed, I am ever to be lost. This day next week, a piece of me will await your reading, but I ask for six nights to let these thoughts truly settle within me.
There’s an undeniable joy in knowing you are alive, in knowing you are simply you. Your sincerity, whenever our paths cross in conversation, feels like a deep anchor. It truly feels as though a part of you instinctively reaches towards me, finding contentment in that simple act, in that bare fact alone. And I confess, that same magnetic pull resides within me. My foremost commitment is to understand you—for through that understanding, we will inevitably understand each other. And only then, in that profound reciprocity, will you truly be able to understand me.
This is the precipice where stability beckons, yet it demands a leap, a true plunge off the cliff into unfamiliar waters. But this leap must be tempered by absolute trust that these waters are indeed deep enough to cradle your descent. I possess the depth to see you, no matter where your journey might lead. And if, by some grace, it proves too profound even for me to follow, then let God’s rain fall upon our Earths, flooding the shared ocean of our beings. Let nature run its course, allowing two magnets to finally bond, two pieces of Earth suspended—in water, in gravity, in all these myriad spaces, both liminally and externally experienced.
I want to be your swimming mate. Together, like fish, or perhaps like resilient mud, we can float, however we are pulled, so long as we place our absolute trust in the waves and the waters of this collective ocean.
My desire is for us to see this ocean together, for you to feel cleansed, bathed in your discovered waters. And to know, with unwavering certainty, that these were the very waves you waded as a child upon the shore, those moments when you gazed at the horizon, searching in vain at unreached distances for an end to the waters and waves without you. Remember those early ponderings, the way you began to differentiate between Nature and Home, understanding that the World Outside and the World Inside are two distinct Homes. I tell you, with conviction, that together, I can be strong enough for us to feel safe in both. I am not one to easily relinquish true bonds.
Yet, I am also exquisitely sensitive to neglect, and my response to feeling unnerved by it is almost hyperactive. I am truly sorry for the assumptions of dismissal that have sometimes clouded my perception. I know there are incomplete aspects within myself that contribute to this discomfort, this lingering gap in my character.
My deepest need is to connect only with selfless, devoted, passionate, loyal, and honest people. I struggle with stress because I am inherently a cerebral personality, and I find it genuinely difficult to ever be free from at least a subtle internal pressure. When that girl’s random message arrived that night, speaking so many things, I truly had to sit with it, to absorb it. And from that deep contemplation, I emerged still holding onto who I believe you are. I can truly appreciate the space that has been made available, for us, to simply attempt to connect.
That specific thought process, charged as it was with emotion, I believe touches upon the very same pressures that could, presumably, carry us beneath their guiding wind into a future where we remain close, learning the evolving roles in each other’s lives. It would necessitate a stronger dynamic, one forged through profound patience and an abundance of honest devotion. This truth probably resonates most deeply when we feel truly close—not merely in physical proximity, but in the most tender emotional sense.
There are undoubtedly aspects of me you may not resonate with, and equally, things about myself that you might find agreement with, given the time for our beings to interlink. I grasp the situation, and the points you’ve made so clear about how you’ve felt recently. And for that, I am truly sorry. Perhaps it’s not truly that deep or important, the fact that there was a “ghosting” for less than 24 hours. But truthfully, in my most open admission, it did sow further seeds of doubt—those same seeds that were trying to settle another time, when that girl, regardless of her source, heard a telephone story and sought my best interest.
I simply wonder how that tendency, that disposition, might translate into the future, and what it truly represents. Not merely concerning yesterday’s brief absence, but regarding what I perceive as a more fundamental reluctance—one I can’t quite discern. Perhaps it’s the distance. Perhaps you haven’t had the necessary time to fully move past your last relationship? I genuinely don’t know. Perhaps my actions, or my way of communicating, are off-putting. Perhaps there are others you speak with who appear more desirable than I do, for the most part.
I truly, truly don’t know.
It feels unfair of me to expect you to be ready. But my willingness to feel what you are, to delve into your essence, is immense—because I genuinely believed you felt the exact same way too. I am not one who typically pursues in relationships, or whatever this connection might be for what it is. I allow it to present itself to me, and if the potential is truly there, I discern it in someone quite rapidly, with a concentrated effort.
It is frustrating, then, when I jump too quickly off that cliff, seeking to discern what I am feeling, if it’s right, if it fits, if I should truly devote myself to it.
∆Remember Us∆ 